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Photo by Uniqlo

Free Uniqlo Heat Tech Innerwear Distributed by Giant Human Vending Machine
Military Island, Times Square (Broadway and Seventh Avenue, between 43rd and 44th Streets)
Tuesday, November 18, 1 PM

“Basically we’re going to have two mimes. A male and a female mime inside the machine. And the public can see them through glass. When you get there, we’re going to have Uniqlo reps dressed in the silver bodysuits. And they’re going to hold a thermograph scanner — think of an airport security machine. The thermographer identifies cold spots in your body. After you go through that, you go to the vending machine and push a button and the mimes are going to do a synchronized choreographed routine and then your outfit comes out.”

These guys have either lost it completely, or are star-raving geniuses. Only time will tell. I for one will not be braving the zoo that is Times Square in the next few weeks. Apparently a few thousand pieces will be given away. Say, while you’re at it Uniqlo, how about giving a few hundred pieces to some of the homeless shelters in NYC that will definitely need the clothes more than the animals in Times Square? It’s getting chilly out there!